How did I not know? How did I miss the signs? How did I not notice? Was there not a change in her voice? Did she not lose the twinkle in her eye? How could I not see the torment she was suffering inside? Was I so absorbed in my own life? Fooled by her … Continue reading A Mother’s Anxiety
Evil, sly, existence Living somewhere within Your sludge deep inside of me Navigating my path with your sins. So self righteous and destructive Such a nightmare to endure I start to create, then somehow, end up a pathetic pile on the floor. Release me from your grips Those claws imbedded in my brain Set me … Continue reading Self-Doubt; Sit With Me.
I must remember that I, the self, does not exist. . It’s just a concept . I am everything around me I am consciousness I am awareness . All of the things used to describe me belong to themselves I am not attached to ‘the self’ I am simply this... I am … Continue reading Note To Self…
Since the lock-downs began, The Berlin Compost, who's tagline is 'we often forget we are nature', has been sharing something nature related each and every day to help inspire and keep many readers sane whilst they stay isolated. The creator, Laura Karimloo is forever researching and exploring in nature, knowing first hand just how powerful … Continue reading The Berlin Compost – Nature Dose
Pressure builds Reality fades Brain clogged up Nothing left to gain . A continuous flow Of subliminal messages Never enough Living up to external images . Taking on more than what is Frantic Exhausted The future takes hold Controlled Haunted . Expectations win Reality takes a seat No time to think Heart skips a beat … Continue reading Stressed.
Can’t sit Mind walks. Can’t walk Mind flies. Can’t fly Mind sits, Sinks and cries. - H. O'Neill - Jack Hare (photograph)
What does it really mean? I grew up in a small sized society, completely patriarchal, (falsely) religious. I grew up in a normal family, went to school and university, been a good friend, partner, daughter, employee. I did everything right. How come though, that I found myself turning 30 feeling miserable? In my whole life … Continue reading Self Ownership
Tomorrow, I will be released from the psychiatric hospital. I’ve been here a month, facing down my demons and learning how to rebuild a life torn apart by a brain that doesn’t work quite as it should. My diagnosis is printed, stamped, and signed — the only benchmarks that matter in making something offiziell here in Germany. … Continue reading Invisible Illness
- Hello you, how have you been feeling lately? - Hm . . I suppose I'm feeling safe in my own boundaries, not trying to be or look different to how I feel in any moment; trying to think nice thoughts about my weaknesses or insecurities, making sure I am treating my body well too. … Continue reading Sensing Acceptance
It was a fresh, blissful sunday afternoon, the streets of Berlin were quiet and peaceful; the invasive sounds of sirens had slowed down and the sun shined through the scattered clouds lighting up the faces below. Various women of all different ages and nationalities had gathered in an attempt to open up, understand and engage … Continue reading Wacky Women