pick pick pick
an obsessive attack
momentary freeze,
no looking back.
.
Whilst I ruin my face
neck
and back.
Others judgments follow;
what on earth is that?
.
Look at what you’ve done
You’ll ruin your face
You once looked so pretty
Now its an absolute disgrace
.
Ashamed
Anxious
Craving the release
letting go of all the tension
all of the negativity and waste
.
With no understanding
and mountains of blame
the pressure builds
and so does the shame
.
Unsure myself
of this obsessive need
wondering why I cant just stop
after I’ve planted the picking seed.
.
Before I blamed myself,
thinking I was weak
when really it was within.
A weird psychological tweak.
.
An anxious release
a coping mechanism
but how would others understand
when they just can’t see them.
.
Attempting to ignore the tricks,
That I have been playing on myself
Noting the feelings that arise
and the thoughts upon the shelf
.
slowing down the mind
seeing and accepting the tricks
knowing that whats to gain
isn’t really what I think it is.
– Evie Pardoe
Earthlings Magazine 