Vast Null


I am currently reading the book “Women Who Run with the Wolves”, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. It’s a study; a collection of myths and stories of the wild woman archetype. The fictional stories with vivid descriptions of unfolding experiences; making the book quite heavy to digest. Going through one story a week gives enough time to read it to follow the story without going back. To understand the interpretations of each move taken.

But this is neither a book review nor a campaign article. There is one concept in the book that keeps recurring in every story and every explanation holds this crucial element for the main character to go through.

The cycle of Life/Death/Life

“Space unoccupied created within oneself”

Beware that non-occupation does not mean empty. It’s generally forced, a bit broken hearted or comes with the feeling of being lost but with reassurance. Somehow, miraculously being happy about the outcome. The outcome is blank, be it good, bad, happy or sad.

Sometimes so small like a tiny crack in a window, where fresh air flows through.

Sometimes so vast that it creates some sort of tension not knowing what to fill it with.

It can ignite clarity in the mind, but it is not equivalent to abandonment (materialistic or relationship wise) but simply, instead, a pause. It is like taking instantaneous derivatives of continuous life. Stopping on the wave, a pause from the daily buzz, the humming sound you cannot easily turn off that makes you feel exhausted without the clarity of it’s true origin.

The vast null does not present you a new beginning, a tabula rasa for your life. But it shows that there is life after death. There have been no novelties in thy life because there has been no space for it.

Only through creating space, fresh, can enter in.

Like in yoga; when you go to a class with a full stomach; do not be surprised that your inhales are short and you get nauseated. It creates chaos within, fighting with the existing. The physical null can lead a mindful settling into the construction site.

An opportunity to discover, you can go beyond in a twist, you can deepen, find new shapes with your body and within your mind. Do not be afraid of death. Or do so; and be astonished about the new life that is going to happen no matter what. The fear of not knowing, the lack of clarity, the uncertainty drives the mind crazy.

People are walking patterns.

Comfort zone is more comfortable than you think it is, and you are more often there than you think you are. Even in a yoga class. Try becoming more null next time. Just see how it feels.

– Burcu Bakac

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