Today my lover took me to Crystal Castle and ended our relationship.
It was powerful, and I learnt one of my biggest lessons in relationships yet.
This was our contract, and for this final piece I am so grateful.
When the man I considered to be my twin flame told me what we were doing was not what he wanted, I felt my whole internal world crumble.
My chest collapsed. My solar plexus was burning. I fell into my pain.
I wanted to run. I wanted to show him what he was losing. I wanted to ease my pain by throwing it back at him and making him hurt as much as he was hurting me.
He gave me one last message and I opened to it. I let it fully land. He said your biology is yours and yours only. Whatever you are feeling right now is a choice.
In the past I thought regulating my emotional world was bypass. Today I learnt it is power, and self-mastery.
I breathed into my broken heart and honoured her fully. I loved myself for what I was feeling and acknowledged it was totally normal.
I recognised my choice in the moment and so I smiled and looked up at him. I thanked him deeply in my soul and then directly to him for the lessons and our time together.
In that instant our contract popped and I felt the painful feelings dissolve. In their place came a wave of peace and calm.
Let’s enjoy our last afternoon together! I said. This is a celebration.
When he asked if we could be friends I politely declined. I’m too busy for that kind of ambiguity in my life.
So we went to the beach for a final sunset walk and then I returned home, empowered and in my centre.
Managing your emotional world is not bypass. It’s maturity, and personal power.
If I want to be a leader in this world, I need to learn how to manage my triggers and wounds and not project them. To honour and love them without rejecting them. But to keep moving forward with certainty and conviction.
Ever grateful for this journey back to wholeness and myself.
Thank you beautiful universe (beautiful me).
– Gabrielle Dawn
Earthlings Magazine 