What do you do when you realise the only person you can trust is yourself, only to learn this isn’t exactly true?
Experiencing life as it is and realising that everything is subject to change, can lead to the conclusion that you, can only trust, you. Learning to appreciate yourself, knowing that you’ll always have yourself to rely on; but what if this isn’t true?
Depression and anxiety can spark off a whole range of different tricks, distorting reality creating all sorts of potential ‘could bes’ and ‘what ifs’. Realising that your thoughts aren’t reliable and definitely not helpful; you now find yourself lost in a whirlwind of confusion, not knowing where to turn.
I suppose its a useful realisation to have, pushing you to investigate each thought, slowly becoming more aware of which thoughts you can and can’t trust.
But how do you know you can trust yourself on this process?
It’s not as easy in practice and its definitely not something you can flick on at a switch. You have to experience all of the madness before you can start eliminating these thoughts, along with the feelings that run along side them. A thought is a thought, and nothing more, as soon as we begin to put importance on these we see them as facts, coming to abrupt conclusions before giving yourself a chance to see things for what they really are. Noting our minds processes and being able to see your mind change again and again, you will be able to bring yourself back to the simplistic realness of life, the present moment.
Often its the feelings that fuel the thoughts, not trusting feelings can be even trickier, surely they are a representation of a reaction to a stimulus. Thus, suggesting you have to search even deeper, wading through piles of untamed emotions lurking from experiences in the past, which have attached themselves to the present moment.
Its important to remember not to ignore your thoughts or feelings, suppressing them is often the cause for their resurrection. Remembering it’s ok to feel what you feel, allowing yourself to go through the emotions you need to, without grasping onto thoughts; watching them pass by.
When feeling at peace, with a clear and calm mind, you now know you’re able to handle situations in a healthy manner, a messy mind only leads to more dramatic circumstances, you just need to be patient.
It’s not learning to trust no one, its just knowing who to trust, even within yourself.
– Evie Pardoe