Going back
Is actually sometimes going forwards
When you know the faces
And the places
The streets, the traffic
The noise, the scents
Which way the wind blows
The time you have to
Wrap your scarf once more
The memories that jump in front of you
Sensations which awakened
And which not.
This time.
Change of stage
Change of role
With the same setting
Same colours
Same people
And totally brand new
You.
Moving to a new city, starting a new school, a new job, finally showing up to that course you finally enrolled to might be good steps to have a new life, have a new beginning.
But not necessarily.
Unless the attitude changes towards how we perceive and how we respond.
How different the interactions can become.
But, sooner or later the story ends the same.
I find myself making the same choices, ending up with the same results.
So now, before trying to change something in life, or trying to include/exclude something to it, try to be receptive.
Not only by trying, but also committing to a new role that is possible.
It all begins with awareness; humans are walking patterns.
The choices we make, when safe, get carved into our system.
Many times, after deciding to change my running route around the streets, opting out of making decisions and just ‘going with the flow’. On my way back, once again finding myself on the path which I usually take towards home. From evolutionary point of view, choosing the safest path. The one we already tried.
Yet by realising that pattern, now you have the choice of building yourself another journey. Maybe not as spontaneous, but at least new things to explore on the way.
New streets, new sounds, new scents, different angle of the sun rays on the buildings
And probably new people, repeating their own patterns.
This new attitude brings such rooting to life. I am not presenting something new and mesmerising to the world maybe. Not making any input to other lives. But I am learning to live another life, in this one and only life given. Creating a new life by creating a new perception. Only then, going back, following the -what used to be- the same persona is no longer a defeat but rather a new journey. Opportunity to give a vintage twist to life.
-Burcu Bakac
Earthlings Magazine 